Toddler Training Goes To The Dogs
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Sometimes every child is an overexcited one, terrible two, or traumatic three. Throw in a parent who may be hurried, tired or absorbed in a task, and you can have quite a lively scene, sometimes at home, but also in stores, doctors' offices (your pediatrician's office is the worst) restaurants, parks and other public places. News: A British animal shelter and toddler experts such as Sue Atkins, author of "Raising Happy Children for Dummies", agree that many puppy training techniques work beautifully for toddlers as well.
"Becoming a dog owner or a new parent puts people under pressure. Neither puppies nor toddlers can be expected to know how to behave in certain situations and need clear, consistent guidance,†wrote Pat Moore, deputy head of behavior at the Battersea Dogs and Cats Home of greater London in its “Paws†magazine.
Paws cites some striking similarities between toddlers and dogs (have you ever known a dog who wasn’t sort of a perpetual toddler?):
Very young children and animals are unable to communicate verbally.
Since you can’t explain how to behave to non-verbal children or puppies, you need to show them rather than tell them what is and is not acceptable behavior.
Both respond best to positive reinforcement and rewards. If you immediately picture an overweight toddler, read on for ideas of rewards that are not food, though small pieces of cheese may work beautifully, and can even provide you a little treat for being such a good trainer. Hugs and other affection, praise and toys are also great reinforcers. And remember, when you give a hug you get a hug.
When training small kids and small canines, Moore wrote "The key is to use more simplified verbal communication and distinctive body language. The tone of voice is key, along with your facial expressions. If you are giving a command, you don't need to shout, but you should make sure your voice is firm and your meaning clear."
However, positive reinforcement is more complex than just doling out rewards and affection.
"When training the dogs at Battersea we use a mixture of rewards including tasty treats for really good behavior," the article says. "If you use the best treats all the time – such as a chew – it loses its value and isn't so attractive. While we aren't child psychologists, it would seem that parents should act in a similar way, keeping a range of rewards for different circumstances.
"Behaving well on a shopping trip may result in a trip to the playground or sweets – it wouldn't usually mean buying a very expensive toy."
Ideas from Paws will also give you tools to adapt to other challenges in your family:
When a child is especially possessive of toys and unwilling to share, distract attention with another toy he or she especially likes. The tot will probably switch happily to toy number two, and eventually get the idea that putting something down creates the opportunity to move on to a different play adventure.
And how about phone calls? When parents are on the phone, they’re obviously not able to make their adorable child the center of attention. The best and most lasting solution is to find a way to create a game around a situation – maybe hide and seek in which the little one gets a toy and goes off to play away from the phone area until found. A mother who volunteered with a rape kept a special stash of toys and books near the phone. At the outset of the call, she set the box of toys and books down so her children had a choice of some favorite, special toys.
"The important thing is not to interact with them when they are behaving badly as they will start to play up to get attention†wrote Alison Russell, another behavior trainer at the Battersea home, adding "Child psychology and dog behavior are, of course, complex and very individual subjects but there are some startling similarities between them which can be tackled with simple behavioral techniques."
When a reporter queried Sue Atkins, author of the parenting for dummies book, for her opinion of similar training for children and puppies, she said that many of the ideas here should work well and that she has “laughed at times about the similarities between puppies and children.â€