At Wit's End? Parent Coaches To The Rescue!
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Whether a toddler has taken to throwing toys (better than biting!) or parents seem to be forever locked in battles with teenagers, leaving no room, not to mention time, for maintaining a relationship that feels even vaguely positive, there’s a new breed of trained parent coaches. They're ready and able to help with anything from a one-time problem to big concerns like a parenting philosophy or creating effective and attractive alternatives that make kids happy to do something other than play video games.
From just eight students in 2001, its first year, The Parent Coaching Institute (PCI), the primary trainer for parenting coaches, now certifies about 40 new coaches each year. It’s a non-profit organization offering a comprehensive training program affiliated with Seattle Pacific University's Department of Education. Most of its certified graduates also bring professional experience in counseling, education or nursing.
One of parents' most frequent frustrations is that they’ve never received, nor can they find, quality education or training for parenting, despite the fact that it is the most important job they will ever do, and requires ever-changing combinations of imagination, dedication, perseverance and fortitude.
At best, there are some huge common challenges. A child may develop behaviors that neither parent, nor their parents, who are often the first people on the call-for-help list, ever encountered, especially with today’s smaller families. There are a dizzying variety of parent tip articles and websites, but they often contradict each other. The parents may have been raised in families with very different styles of parenting, which makes for a lot of uncertainty and often friction between them, which is bad for their relationship as well as for consistent, attentive parenting. And it’s not the role model for relationships parents create for your children. Last, there are friends. Neighbors and child care providers, who are handy and may know the family dynamics better than anyone else because of constant contact with kids, parents or both.
“There’s a limit to what your friends can do for you,†said one who spoke to Newsweek magazine. “Sometimes with parents there’s a hint of competition that makes it hard to ask, ‘What the heck am I doing wrong?’â€
Blended families, who often have children that are “yours, mine and ours,†face additional hurdles providing consistency in two households, creating three or four parents involved with each child.
Parenting coaches are most likely to be in larger cities, but some will consult by phone so distance can be overcome for both coaches and parents. Many also offer additional information and services, including screening to hire nannies.
Here are a few of the better-known parent coaches: Intentional Parent (http://www.intentionalparent.net/) in Chicago, Sound Parent (http://www.soundparent.com/index.shtml) in Washington state and Urban Nurture (http://www.urbannurture.com/) in New York City. All are PCI certified. PCI (http://www.parentcoachinginstitute.com) offers a list of trained coaches across the U.S. that helps parents find a coach closest to them.